CONTENTS

About This Course

Table of Contents

1. School Bullying: What It Is and Why It Hurts
2. The Role of Bullies, Victims, and Witnesses
3. Factors Contributing to Bullying and Violence
4. Screening and Assessment
5. Treatment For Children and Adolescents
6. Prevention and Intervention
7. Legal and Ethical Issues

Supplements
Case Studies
Fact Sheets
References
Resources

The ABCs of Bullying
Addressing, Blocking, and Curbing School Aggression

Talking With Kids

According to the Center for Mental Health in Schools at the UCLA Department of Psychology, there are specific communication skills that will help promote an effective and open dialogue with kids. In general, effective communication involves being able to talk with, not at, others. An active listener avoids prying or judging. Rather, he or she understands when it is appropriate to share information and relate one's own experiences. Some suggestions include:ref

• Creating the context for dialogue:
  1. Create a private space and a climate where the youngster can feel it is safe to talk.
  2. Clarify the value of keeping things confidential.
  3. Explore dialogues when the time or condition is right -- do not push if it isn't.
  4. Utilize methods other than just conversations, such as working together on a project while talking.
• Establishing credibility as a listener:
  1. Respond with empathy, warmth, and understanding (express appropriate reassurance and praise, minimize criticism and confrontation).
  2. Show genuine regard and respect (the ability to transmit real interest and acceptance of the other's feelings).
  3. Use active and undistracted listening.
  4. Validate and affirm a student's observation whenever appropriate.
  5. Keep in mind that you want the student to feel more competent as a result of the interchange.
• Facilitating talk:
  An active listener avoids prying or judging.
  1. Avoid interrupting.
  2. Start slowly, avoid asking questions, and minimize pressure to talk.
  3. Encourage the child to take the lead.
  4. Humor can open the dialogue -- sarcasm has the opposite effect.
  5. Give the child your undivided attention. Show that what the child is saying is important, which helps develop positive attitudes and skills for oral communication.
  6. Ask open-ended questions, not yes or no questions.
  7. Include another child or small group if a child is reluctant to talk alone.
  8. Help a child find the words to describe feelings by sharing your own observations about his or her behavior (i.e., "It looks like something made you angry" or "You seem sad today").
  9. Be sure to make positive interactions outweigh the negative interactions when a child has an emotional, behavioral, or learning problem.
  10. Respect the need for short periods of silence -- the silence is part of the process and allows a child to think about the issue without the pressure to talk.