CONTENTS

About This Course

Table of Contents

1. Getting The Basics
2. Substance Abuse
3. Violence Against Women
4. Violent Men
5. Alcohol and Violence
6. Alcohol, Drugs and Sexual Assault (Date Rape)
7. Preventing Sexual Assault
8. After a Rape or Sexual Assault
9. Assistance - Women
10. Assistance - Men
11. Legal Options

Supplements
Resources
Glossary
Fact Sheets

It Won't Happen to Me:
Substance Abuse-Related Violence Against Women for Anyone Concerned About The Issues

Module Content Introduction Risk Factors Characteristics of Batterers -- Do You Have a Problem With Abuse? Role of Substance Abuse Why Women Stay in Abusive Relationships Promoting Healthy Relationships What Men Can Do To End Male Violence Against Women Summary References

Characteristics of Batterers

There is no simple way to describe a "typical" abuser. Abusers are as different from one another as any two people may be. However, studies have shown that abusers often have some things in common, such as feelings of low self-esteem, lack of trust, inability to take responsibility, and family history of substance abuse.³ Other characteristics often include:

• A feeling that their life is not worth anything
• Alcohol or drug abuse in their family
• Fear of losing control and power
• Being out of touch with feelings other than anger
• The belief that men must always behave in certain ways and women in others
• The ability to act very charming sometimes but very angry and mean at other times
• No trust in people
• Wanting the woman all to himself
• Blaming others for their actions, not assuming responsibility for their actions
• Inability to handle stress in a healthy way
• Believing that the male always rules the household
• As a child, saw violence between their parents or were abused by their parents
• Always thinking other people are hostile
• Have problems figuring out why other people act the way they do

Most abusers can be described as unpredictable, unwilling to listen to their wives or partners, and unable to express their angry feelings without using violence. Men who abuse fall mostly into one of two types:

1. Men who take a while to become violent, and
2. Men who strike out almost immediately.⁴

Many abusers do not know how to talk with or listen to others and cannot show their emotions without anger.¹

Many people believe that men have no control over their violent behavior. Some even think these men are evil and lack morals. Men who abuse women feel as if they have no control over their violence and do not enjoy acting violently. The problem is not that they have no morals or values. The problem is they have learned, by believing wrong ideas, to make poor choices that involve violent, abusive behavior. With proper treatment and much effort on their own, they can learn to make better choices and learn how to deal with others without using violence.⁵