It Won't Happen to Me:
Substance Abuse-Related Violence Against Women
for Anyone Concerned About The Issues
Module 4: Violent Men - Page 6 of 10
Why Women Stay in Abusive Relationships
While it may appear simple that a woman should just leave an abusive situation, there are many reasons a woman cannot immediately leave a violent situation. Here are some reasons that a woman might stay in an abusive relationship:
- She believes the abuse is her fault.
- She loves him and remembers him as a charming and loving person.
- She may have a substance abuse problem and may not have the outside help she needs to leave.
- He may be her drug supplier.
- She is ashamed and embarrassed.
- She is afraid of what he may do to her if she leaves.
- She is afraid of what he may do to the kids or animals if she leaves.
- She does not know what help is available to her in the community.
- She may not know where to go if she leaves.
- She may not have enough money to support herself or her children without him.
- She may be scared to tell her family (parents) since they might make her break up with him.
- She may confuse jealousy with love.
- She may not have had another relationship before so she thinks this is what they are all like.
- She believes him when he says he's sorry and promises he won't hurt her again.
- He starts treating her really well to show how sorry he is and how much he loves her.
- She may feel pressured to stay in the relationship (mainly marriage) because of her religion or family beliefs.
- She believes he will change.
In addition, older women and women in different racial and ethnic groups may face additional barriers, including:
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Last Updated: 6/15/04
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