CONTENTS

About This Course

Table of Contents

1. Getting The Basics
2. Substance Abuse
3. Violence Against Women
4. Violent Men
5. Alcohol and Violence
6. Alcohol, Drugs and Sexual Assault (Date Rape)
7. Preventing Sexual Assault
8. After a Rape or Sexual Assault
9. Assistance - Women
10. Assistance - Men
11. Legal Options

Supplements
Resources
Glossary
Fact Sheets

It Won't Happen to Me:
Substance Abuse-Related Violence Against Women for Anyone Concerned About The Issues

Effects of Drinking and Family Abuse on Children

Many abused women do not realize the effect that violence and drinking have on children. Some might say, "We never fought in front of our son" or "My daughter was in her room at the time, so she wouldn't know about it."

Partners of alcoholics and abusers often minimize the impact of drinking and violence on the family. The denial process of not feeling, not trusting, and not talking dominates the family. In addition, the children may see alcohol and violence as part of life and adopt similar behaviors when they get older.

Alcoholism, when coupled with violence, doubles the need for denial. This creates an even greater sense of hopelessness for family members.⁸ Unfortunately, children at very young ages witness the violence and drinking and end up suffering the repercussions. In one survey of more than 6,000 American families, 50 percent of men who frequently assaulted their wives also abused their children.⁹ In addition, the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence estimates that more than 3 million children between the ages of 3 and 19 are at risk of being hurt by parental violence every year.

Infants exposed to violence also suffer. They may not develop attachments to their parents that are important to their later development. They may even become "failure to thrive" babies.⁹ In extreme cases, they may be injured or killed if their mother is holding them when the abuser is violent.

Children exposed to violence can exhibit physical complaints such as a stomachache, headache, or just not feeling well. They may also experience symptoms such as eating problems, sleep problems, depression, and alcohol and drug use.^1,10

Whatever the behavior, children (from grade school age and up) need to be able to talk to someone whom they can trust. It is helpful for the children to see a counselor to try to express their fears. They need to understand it is normal to feel the guilt and shame that all children who grow up with violence feel. Young children who have not mastered talking can still benefit from play therapy with a trained professional.