Pathways Courses - It Won't Happen to Me:

It Won't Happen to Me:
Substance Abuse-Related Violence Against Women for Anyone Concerned About The Issues

Module 8: After a Rape or Sexual Assault - Page 4 of 10

Be a friend first. Listen to her and support her. Try to resist giving "solutions" to make things better.
Leave the choices she makes up to her. Let her regain the control that was recently taken away from her. Let her decide when to talk about what happened and when she is ready to show affection or be intimate or physical.
Do not rush anything. It takes time to sort through all of the confusing feelings she is having and she needs time, patience, and love.
Be understanding about intimacy. She may question her attractiveness and feel less of a woman because of what happened. She may not be open to being intimate or physical. Just having your body next to hers may trigger bad memories.
Be aware of what she is going through. She may experience nightmares and intense bad memories. She may have trouble sleeping or start feeling depressed. She may blame herself for what happened.
Get support for yourself. You may find the need to talk with a rape crisis counselor to understand more about what happened and what you can do. Try not to take any anger out on her. She needs you to be loving and patient, not distant. You may feel guilt about what happened. That is normal. If you have a problem with someone else "having been with her," talk to a counselor about it.