Silence Hurts
Alcohol Abuse and Violence Against Women
Why Women Stay in Abusive Relationships
The response many people have to an abusive situation is, "Why doesn't she just leave?" Women stay in abusive relationships for many reasons, including:
- She believes the abuse is her fault.
- She loves the abuser and remembers that he can be a charming and loving person.
- She may have a substance abuse problem and not have the resources to leave.
- He may be her drug supplier.
- She is ashamed and embarrassed.
- She is afraid of what he may do to her if she leaves.
- She is afraid of what he may do to the children or animals if she leaves.
- She is not familiar with the resources in the community for getting help for abuse.
- She may not know where to go if she leaves.
- She may not have enough money to support herself or her children without him.
- She may be scared to tell her family (parents) since they might make her break up with him.
- She may think his jealousy is a sign of his love for her.
- She may not have had another relationship before, so she thinks this is the norm for all relationships.
- She may feel pressured to stay in the relationship (chiefly marriage) because of her religious or family beliefs.
- She believes he will change.
- She may be pregnant.
Cultural and religious beliefs may affect the choices available to a victim, who also may be addicted to substances. The United States represents a true mix of cultures from around the world. Just as people born and raised in the United States have certain values and beliefs, families from other countries bring with them the values and beliefs held in their country of origin.
Barriers to safety and sobriety that older women and women from different racial and ethnic minority groups may face include:
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Last Updated: 6/14/04
SAMHSA is an Agency of the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services
